Hypothetical Fatherhood is at Twitter
My posts have slowed here but I’m still making quick quips about being a father via my Twitter handle, hypotheticaldad. Feel free to follow, retweet, or whatever. Twitter, for me, is like a car – I don’t know how it works, I just use it.
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New Similes for “Snug as a Bug in a Rug”
If you’ve ever tried to get a newborn to calm down, you know that swaddling can be a key factor in helping your baby get comfortable and cute all at the same time. Observe:
Wrapping a baby in a tight, light blanket specifically for swaddling keeps it warm and cozy in a stance and overall feel reminiscent of being in the womb and they absolutely love it. This tightly-swaddled baby is often referred to as a “Baby Burrito” or, in my family which has some Chinese heritage, a “Baby Egg Roll.”
After swaddling a newborn, many parents, even the most stoic of fathers, may find it difficult not to tell their sweet child that they are indeed as “Snug as a Bug in a Rug!”
That catchy phrase certainly works, yet perhaps there are alternative similes that are more accurate and interesting…
Snug as a Hobbit in Shelob’s Web
George Lucas Appeals to Dads, Episode II
By now, you may have heard the rumors of new additions, tweaks, and unnecessary changes being made to the Star Wars films for their release on Blu-ray this month. The internet is going insane over this, people are choosing the light side or the dark side, and many diehard fanboys are canceling their pre-orders (this fanboy, who has spent much of his disposable income on Star Wars merchandise over the years, didn’t even place an order in the first place).
In an effort to appeal to young men who grew up watching Star Wars and who are now working fathers, George Lucas has added new scenes to the Star Wars trilogy. Check out this scene from The Empire Strikes Back…
Enter Real Fatherhood
The content so far (and much of it to follow in the coming months) was dreamed up while I was still just some guy. But as of Sunday afternoon, I am officially a real father.
Our baby daughter is healthy, Mama is happy, and I’m as proud as I’ve ever been in my life. Our family is very blessed and I’m excited to see where this part of my life’s journey takes me. And while I’m now officially a real father, my imagination will always be churning and there’s still plenty to say about hypothetical fatherhood. Thank you for reading!
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P.S. And while I swore I would never actually try any of the content on Hypothetical Fatherhood, I did attempt to play Motley Crüe’s “Kickstart My Heart” on the way to the hospital for around three seconds and yes, my wife did not like that. Go figure.
George Lucas Appeals to Dads, Episode I
By now, you may have heard the rumors of new additions, tweaks, and unnecessary changes being made to the Star Wars films for their release on Blu-ray this month. The internet is going insane over this, people are choosing the light side or the dark side, and many diehard fanboys are canceling their pre-orders (this fanboy, who has spent much of his disposable income on Star Wars merchandise over the years, didn’t even place an order in the first place).
In an effort to appeal to young men who grew up watching Star Wars and who are now working fathers, George Lucas has added new scenes to the Star Wars trilogy. Check out this scene from The Empire Strikes Back…
Cut the Cord
Cutting the umbilical cord is a special moment for a new dad. Some fathers have emotional difficulty doing so because they’re worried about any pain that could result from cutting tissue connected to the mother and the baby. Don’t worry, though, because there are no nerve endings in the umbilical cord and no one will feel any pain from the severing whatsoever. Now that that’s out of the way, you can also get the little scissors the doctor or midwife will hand you out of the way, too, because you have a lot more options available to you when it comes time to cut the cord.
Ten Ways You Can Never Cut the Cord:
10. Craft Scissors
Pick the pattern that works the best to create a stylin’ stomach stump on baby for the next few days.
